I consider myself to be a very law abiding and respectful citizen. However, on June 2nd I found myself on the other side of the law...well sort of. About month ago an over zealous officer eager to show off his new dodge charger police vehicle( probably having nothing better to do) decided to pull over an unsuspecting motorist... me. I was driving from birmingham to florence in order to make it to my 11 am class. All of a sudden on the 157 stretch from Moulton to florence a blur of flashing lights and noise pulled out behind and beckoned me over to the side. I looked down at my speedometer and saw that I was actually going the speed limit. Seriously, not the customary 5 miles over, but the actual speed limit, trust me I to was very surprised. I knew that this was not going to be a pleasant experience because A: I knew this douche bag was going to make me late for class and B: my dog Kumar was in the car with me. Kumar is not what you'd call a "friendly" dog. Anyway, I pulled over and as the officer approached Kumar began is customary display of teeth at the window, snapping and growling very menacingly. so to avoid any complications I jumped out of my car with my hands in sight. the officer's hand drifted to his gun, but only for a second. Kumar continued to lunge and press his pearly whites to the window and I had to explain to the officer that he doesn't like pigs...I mean strangers. Anyway the officer gave me a ticket for my insurance card (not my insurance) being expired and for not wearing my glass, which by the way I don't need and was never given an eye test to determine that. Ok well I told you this semi-boring story to tell you this one... The date of Scheduled court appearance fell the date of my first day of summer class, so I called up the moulton city hall and explained my predicament. They told me to come in the next day in order to get it sorted all out. So the next morning I dutifully drove to the happenin' town of Moulton, Alabama to get this all sorted out. I get to the clerk's office and am helped by a lady with a glorious giant beehive updo, complete with jeweled spectacles. This is day is looking up. Anyway beehive lady was able to dismiss the insurance ticket, but recommended that I visit the DA to talk about the vision restriction stuff. She told me were to go and I hurriedly made my way to his office. There was no one at the assistant's desk so I timidly knocked on his big oak door. He opened the door and said " Oh yes yes come in I've been expecting you", this of course kind of confused me, but i figured that Madam Beehive had called him and told him that i was coming. So he directed me in a chair and here is how the dialogue went: DA: Well, we have a lot to talk about Me: really? DA: yes, of course! This is a pretty big deal you know Me: Are you serious (at this time I was getting a little nervous) DA: Of course I am serious! Me: I mean I guess i can see where this could be a big deal. ::at this time the DA Pulls out a giant folder with papers just crammed in to it. My mind began to race and I started thinking holy shit, holy shit! holy shit!! Is that my folder!!! Jesus Christ !why is it that big! Is that like my life history! Oh my god! Is that my FBI file! What have I done! Oh god what have I done!!! Did i kill someone? I bet i did I kill someone! why didn't anyone tell me! That's something you should tell somebody! AHHHHHHH!!!:: DA: you know this isn't your first offense ME: ::gulp:: yes i know i've had tickets before DA: Be serious! your court date is in less than two months! ME: what? it was supposed to be in two days? DA: don't be ridiculous ME: ok I'll try DA: This is your third drug related offense and... ME: WHAT!!!! ::at this time his assistant opens the door and says "sir, your 10:00 apt is here" DA: (staring at me) you're not my 10:00? you're not Maria Sanchez? ME: No!!! the lady upstairs sent me down here to talk to you about traffic ticket stuff.. DA: oh! well I guess ummmmmm, wow... who are you? Me: Jo Ellen Santos DA: uhhh well how can i help you? ME: Uhh that's ok you and Maria need to get working Needless to say that was a very interesting day | 
